Anyone who has ever been on a date will rightly tell you that the odds of finding love in the first attempt are relatively slim. So it is no wonder that almost everybody in the dating field has, at some point, had a truly awful date. Undoubtedly, online dating apps have transformed how people initiate, form, and end romantic relationships.
However, one of the byproducts of modern dating is the evolution of a new language that defines the unpleasant experiences that are a part of today’s dating culture. From roaching to breadcrumbing, these terms have come about to describe people’s dating experiences – the good, bad, and the ugly.
Ruchita Sud, Relationship Expert in Aisle shares some of our least favourite modern dating terms and traits that are downright horrifying. Which of these do you recognise?
Pocketing: If your partner doesn’t post any pictures of you together on social media or hides you from their friends, family and colleagues, that could signal that you’re being pocketed. Your partner keeping you on the low can reveal feelings of shame and not wanting to commit, often halting the progression of a relationship.
Ghosting: Surely you’ve heard of ghosting, but did you know that in 2017, the term entered the Merriam-Webster dictionary? It describes the act of abruptly and seemingly, without reason, stopping all communication within a budding romantic relationship. It is the sudden and complete end to whatever two people had going on – like it never happened in the first place. But, of course, the worst thing about ghosting is that it leaves the other person completely bewildered and confused about where it all went wrong.
Roaching: Much like the infamous cockroach, roaching refers to the act of hiding the fact that two people are dating around. When confronted, these people simply claim to have been under the assumption that there was no implication of monogamy, to begin with. So while you may be aware of their other lovers, it becomes roaching when you realize there are, in fact, many.
Breadcrumbing: Simply, breadcrumbing means leading you on even if they never intend to become romantically involved with you. They will send you flirty but non-committal messages with no intention to date you, yet they won’t have the guts to break things off completely. It’s essentially an emotionally manipulative tactic designed to make someone dependent on you.
Love Bombing: Picture this: You meet someone new, and they show extreme amounts of affection early on in a deliberate attempt to woo you. However, once you’ve committed to a relationship with them, they withdraw all that affection and let their true, ugly colours shine through, leaving you stuck in a toxic nightmare relationship.
So, is there any way to avoid these dating horrors? The first step is to be clear about your dating intent. That sets expectations for yourself and the singles you find. The second is, if you know you’re looking for something serious, find dating apps that have a higher success rate or the possibility of finding real romance. This approach to love is a start in moving towards a great partner and a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
